Rachel Hampton

Do you sea what I sea? June 2, 2010

Yes, the play on words is intentional. If you know me, it is no secret that I dislike seafood. It’s not for lack of trying. I have tasted many types, often more than once, in hopes that my tastebuds have changed and I can now tolerate eating the creatures of the sea. Well, it wasn’t as much my hopes as the hopes of friends who were determined to convert me into a fish lover. Unfilled hopes, I might add.

As for me, I’m perfectly fine with not eating seafood. I don’t feel I’m missing out on anything. There’s chicken, beef, pork, turkey…all of which I truly love. Why try to force something that is just not going to happen? I am not starving. I still have a healthy portion of meat on my bones. Maybe even too healthy.  Let’s hear it for love-handles!

The problem is, I live in Asia, in the Philippines. A country that is surrounded by water. And what is in these waters? Food! Just not food I care to eat. I get a strange look from people here when they find out I don’t like seafood. It is a foreign concept to them. Then like many blessed souls, they want to help by assuring me I just haven’t tasted the right kind of fish. The fresh kind. Once I do that, I’ll never be the same. Problem is, I have done that. Still don’t like it. Sorry. It’s just so….fishy. I know, I am weird. Blame it on my mom’s allergies to most seafood. Perhaps there is a heriditary anti-fish gene that was passed down somewhere.

People often want to know what it is that I dislike so much about seafood.  I’ve generously compiled a list….apparently for my own humiliation. But look people, God created us all differently for a reason. Let’s embrace each other despite odd meal preferences, ok?

1. The smell. Fish stink. You cannot convince me otherwise. When I walk through a market by the fish stalls, I must start breathing through my mouth so I do not gag. I wish I were exaggerating. Occasionally a neighbor in my apt building will cook some kind of fish breakfast. A food I always assumed was never meant to be consumed during the early hours of the morning. I generally tend to set world records in my speed for getting ready for work those days. But maybe if the time comes for fish to start smelling like vanilla or chocolate or coffee…I will jump on board and start downing them.
2. If it wasn’t for the taste. I’m not sure how to describe it, but to say it tastes….FISHY. I don’t like it. I think this is the most basic and understandable reason for not eating a particular type of food. How can you argue with logic?
3. It stares at you. A fish head on my plate with it’s gray, glossy eye stalking my every move? I’m not a fan.
4. Is it alive or isn’t it? There is something so wrong about eating something that is in the same state as it was when it was alive. I like my food to be cooked and in a different configuration so I don’t have to think about the fact that I’m eating some creature that was alive not that long ago. Lobster. When I crack the shell, it seems like I’m breaking it’s bones. Creepy. I feel like a canibal. Fish. Let’s go back up to #3…don’t forget about that. But also, it looks like it was just alive (and probably was)! I can’t get past it. Prawns. Big bugs. That is what they look like. And I don’t like bugs. It may be a mind block, but I cannot bring myself to put one of those in my mouth. Please don’t make me.
5. The bones. It is hard work to eat a fish here in Asia. You have to pick out all the tiny bones as you eat. I’m a lazy consumer. I just want to put something tasty in my mouth, chew, and swallow. I was even taught how to properly open up a newly dead fish in order to eat it. I opened. I ate it. I’m hoping I won’t have to use that skill in the future.

Lucky for me I live with some of the most hospitible and friendly people in the world. After the initial shock, they generally don’t care too much about my interesting eating habits. Not only that, but the Philippines has some delicious food! And really almost any kind that you could want. But if you ever visit here, let me recommend a couple traditional Filipino dishes that you must try. Sisig. Adobo. Tocino. Pancit. Those are my favorites and DELECTIBLE! You won’t be sorry.

You know, I may never encounter a true seafood conversion, but I know I will never starve in this wonderful city!